Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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