God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
