I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
