Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
