Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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