Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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