I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
