I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
