I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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