is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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