so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can't turn off my feet"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
