It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You were trust falling into bushes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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