I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
