I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
