I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
false alarm. still invincible.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
