It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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