i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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