Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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