his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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