its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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