i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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