I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
