Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
did you just send me my own nude
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
