I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
