Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
People in love make me want to vomit
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
