you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
