So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
