It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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