I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.