Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!