i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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