He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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