we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
