What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
