We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
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I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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