Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
