i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
