I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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