Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
