Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Barsexuality is the new black.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize