We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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