dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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