Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
