I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The feeling are messing with the penis
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
