i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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