To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize