so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
