After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
