I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
