I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
