I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize