On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
