this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
