dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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