K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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