so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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