i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
