would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
